Live and Learn
by CJ.T
Summary: Story two in a CJ/Josh series. It continues straight on from "Fools in Love" and will be set over the events in season 2.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone! **

**So, I'm back and I bring gifts with me! Here's story two in my CJ/Josh series. It continues straight on from Fools in Love and will be set over events in season 2. This first chapter is set during **_**In the Shadow of Two Gunmen: part 1. **_

**As always, a huge thank you to my wonderful, beautiful and talented friend ShaeLynn1! Couldn't do this without my lovely! **

**Anyway, hope you all enjoy this and please let me know what you think :D**

**Calliope Jae x**

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**Chapter 1: Hearts and Minds**

**Monday night: 9.37pm**

**The Newseum**

CJ was leaning against a police car trying to listen to what the paramedics were saying to her. They were shining lights in her eyes, taking her pulse and asking her questions she didn't know the answers to. She felt confused. She couldn't remember what happened. One of the paramedics was dabbing at her head with something that stung so bad it made her eyes water. He was talking to her but she wasn't really taking it in.

"Is the President dead?" She asked him as he stood up to leave. He shook his head.

"I wouldn't know anything about that," he looked at her apologetically and ran off into the crowd. CJ pushed herself away from the car and looked around for her briefing book; she found it near the police car. As she bent down to pick it up she noticed the window had been blown out and remembered it shattering around her as someone pulled her to the ground. She stared at the window for a few seconds; if she hadn't been pulled down she would have been hit. The thought made her feel sick and she brought a hand to her head as the pain there reached a whole new level. She heard someone behind her talking and she spun around to see who it was.

"What?" It was Sam standing there looking at her.

"Are you alright?" He asked, looking toward her head and the bloodied gauze she was holding to it.

"Yeah," she brushed his concern off quickly, "Where's the President?"

"He's on his way back to the White House, so is Zoey. They just put Leo in a car." He paused and stroked her arm. "Are you alright?" CJ sighed.

"Someone pulled me down." She knew she kept saying it but that some one had saved her life and not knowing who it was, was eating away at her. Sam looked into her eyes but said nothing. They both saw Gina run towards them and Sam reached out for her.

"Gina!" She shook her head at him.

"Can't talk right now!" She went running to a guy and they started talking furiously. CJ searched the area for everyone else.

"Where are Josh and Toby?" She said out loud. Sam was wondering the same thing as he too was scanning the crowd for them. Suddenly, CJ heard Toby's voice and she spun around to see him standing at the top of the steps.

"I need… I need a doctor! I need help!" He shouted as she and Sam ran towards him. CJ scanned his body but she couldn't see anything, he didn't look hurt. As she got closer she watched as he bent down to catch some one that was falling sideways onto the floor. Her heart stopped.

Josh.

She felt her body turn ice cold when she saw his blood. There was so much, why was there so much blood? She knelt down next to him and took hold of his hand. Toby was talking to him, telling him to keep his eyes open. Sam knelt down at Josh's head and he cradled him on his knees as he was trying to get Josh to focus on him. CJ felt like she couldn't breathe. Josh gripped her hand and pulled her toward him, he needed to see her and he needed to know she was ok. She suddenly came into his line of sight and he could see tears streaming down her cheeks. He didn't say anything, just looked into her eyes. CJ touched his face and tried to smile at him through her tears.

"We're here Josh, we're all here," she assured him and squeezed his hand one last time before being pushed out of the way by a group of paramedics. She stood up and stumbled away from him, she felt some one wrap their arms around her. Toby. She turned to look at him and they told each other they were fine with one look. Sam came up behind them and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"They're taking him to the hospital now." CJ and Toby nodded but Sam's eyes were focused on CJ.

"We'll meet you there Sam," Toby set off to find a car but stopped when he noticed CJ wasn't walking behind him. Sam had hold of her hand.

"You should go with him in the ambulance." Sam knew that even though he was his best friend, Josh would rather have CJ there with him. She nodded to Sam, thanked him quietly and ran after the paramedics.

In the ambulance CJ sat out of the way as the paramedics rushed around Josh trying to keep him stable. She couldn't believe what was happening. Her whole body felt numb and some where in the back of her mind she knew she was in shock. She was cold and shaking but that didn't matter to her, all that mattered was that Josh had been shot. Josh. He didn't deserve this, none of them did. One of Josh's arms broke away from the straps holding him in place and he started to frantically search for something.

"CJ?" He cried out for her. He'd seen her climb in the ambulance and he needed to know where she was. CJ looked to the paramedics and they nodded before she reached over and grasped his hand, holding it tightly.

"I'm here," she said. She couldn't move from her seat and Josh was trying to twist his head so he could see her. The paramedics jumped up to stop him before he undid all their work and started bleeding again. CJ held onto his hand tighter.

"Josh you have to keep still!" She was panicking at the looks on the paramedics faces. "Please Josh," she begged him desperately, "I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere but you need to keep still." She seemed to get through to him as he stopped moving and the paramedics checked him over again. The ambulance slowed down as they arrived at the hospital. The doors were flung open as doctors and nurses rushed in to help Josh. She climbed down and followed everyone inside. She turned to see Toby and Sam running over to her. As they entered the emergency room they saw Leo and Gina walking towards them.

"It's Josh," she called to them when she noticed their confused expressions.

"Josh!" Leo turned wide-eyed to Toby. "What happened?"

"I don't know he was..." Toby and Leo continued to talk as they walked but CJ tuned out, trying to listen to what the doctors were saying, hoping to find out what was happening.

They rounded a corner and she felt Sam run past her, he was shouting something to Josh but for some reason she couldn't work out what he was saying.

Toby turned around and grabbed CJ's hand, he clasped it tight in both of his and held a door open for her as they followed the gurney in to the pre-op area. Sam ran over to Josh and was talking to him, trying to get him to calm down. CJ could feel new tears streaming down her face and someone wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her into a small hug. Toby still had hold of her hand and he tried to lead her out of the room but she wanted to stay.

"Get them out of here!" A doctor shouted. A nurse pulled Sam away and they were all ushered out in to the corridor. Whoever it was that had wrapped an arm around her waist, now had a tight hold on her and she tried to turn to see who it was.

"Charlie," she gripped his head in her hands and he wrapped both arms around her. "Are you ok?" She asked him.

"Yeah," he pulled her into a bone crushing hug and when they pulled apart they saw Zoey walking towards them. Charlie frowned. "What are you doing here?" He made his way over to her and Zoey broke down in tears.

CJ leant against the nearest wall and took in a deep breath. She watched Sam make his way over to her after talking to Zoey and Charlie for a few minutes.

"What's going on?" She asked him quietly.

"CJ..." Sam looked over at Toby who was hovering slightly to the side of her.

"What happened?" CJ asked, fear and apprehension building in her body at the look on Sam's face.

"The President was shot." CJ and Toby gaped opened mouthed at Sam.

"He was shot?" Toby grabbed CJ's arm for support.

"Is he ok?" She asked quickly, "What... I don't understand, he was..." Sam held his hand up trying to calm her down.

"He's fine, they just want to go in and make sure." Sam watched his two friends as they let the horrifying news sink in. CJ brushed a few strands of hair from her face and pushed away from the wall. She began to pace back and forth.

"They'll both be fine, CJ." Sam glanced over at her and she choked back a sob, hoping he hadn't heard it but he had. He walked towards her and drew her into his arms. "I'm sorry, CJ..." he was whispering comforting words into her hair but she was distracted by the colossal headache forming behind her eyes and she reached a hand up to her head. Sam pulled back, concerned eyes sweeping over her face. "How is your head?"

"Fine, I..." Sam took hold of the hand at her head and he turned it over in his.

"We need to get you cleaned up," he said, interrupting her. CJ frowned but let him pull her towards the nearest restroom and she knew without turning to check, that Toby had followed them.

Once inside, CJ noticed her hands. They were covered in blood. Josh's blood. She felt bile rising in her throat and she closed her eyes, willing the feeling to go away. Sam filled a sink with warm water and lathered soap in his hands. He took hold of one of CJ's shaking hands and started to wash away the dried blood. Toby pushed away from the wall he was leaning against and copied Sam, washing her other hand. CJ looked at their reflections in the mirror over the sink and she felt tears sting her eyes. She let them fall freely, never feeling more safe and loved than she had right now. Sam rinsed the soap from her hand and dried it, passing Toby some tissue so he could do the same thing. She smiled at Sam when he laid a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"He's going to be ok, Ceej, they both will." He said, softly. She kissed his cheek as a thank you for everything. "I'm going to get us some drinks."

"We'll be in the waiting room," Toby said, watching Sam walk out of the restroom. He turned his attention to CJ who was rubbing a hand over her neck and staring at the floor. "Sam's right you know."

"Hm?" she said, looking up at him.

"Josh will be ok, we all will."

"You sound so sure," she said, looking into his eyes.

"I am." They walked towards the waiting room together and Toby gently pushed CJ in the direction of where Abbey was sitting.

"You holding up all right?" Abbey asked, as CJ sat down next to her.

"I'm fine," CJ gave the First Lady a small smile. "How is the President?"

"He'll be fine CJ, I'm not worried about Jed."

"But you're worried about Josh?"

"Yes." CJ closed her eyes and leant forward resting her elbows on her knees, she let her head fall into her hands and she forced back the tears that were threatening to fall again. "CJ?" Abbey laid a consoling hand on CJ's back but CJ couldn't look at her. If Abbey was worried about Josh's health then it was worse than any of them could have imagined.

"Do you know what they're doing for him?" She asked, finally lifting her eyes to her friend.

"I have an idea, but I think we should wait to see what the doctors say." Abbey took hold of CJ's hand.

"I'd like to know what you think is going on in there."

"I haven't assessed the damage so I can't make an accurate guess," Abbey's heart was breaking for CJ and she wished she had more to offer her. "I asked for regular updates so I'm sure someone will be along shortly to..." Just then the hospital administrator, Lewis, stepped into the waiting room. He beckoned Abbey out and she patted CJ's knee before following Lewis into the hallway.

CJ leant back in her chair and looked around at everyone in the room. Zoey was pacing the floor, biting her nails and when she looked up at CJ, she gave her a watery smile. CJ pushed herself up and made her way over to Zoey.

"How you doing, Zo?" CJ asked, but Zoey couldn't find any words to describe her feelings and instead took a few unsteady steps into CJ's welcoming arms.

"I'm scared," Zoey took a deep breath. "For my dad and Josh, do you think they'll be ok?"

"They're in good hands," CJ looked over to Toby and she found strength in his eyes. "They'll pull through, we all will." Zoey looked up into CJ's face and she nodded. CJ hoped her words were enough to sooth some of Zoey's fears. She continued to hold Zoey for a few seconds and when she felt the younger woman tense in her arms she knew someone had come back through the door. They both turned to see a straight faced Abbey walking into the room.

"The President is going to be fine," Abbey gave them a brief smile and the whole room breathed a sigh of relief. CJ hugged Zoey to her again and Zoey gave a nervous chuckle at the good news. Abbey continued. "The bullet seems to have gone out of its way not to hit anything." Abbey cleared her throat and stole a quick glance towards CJ. "Now, here's what's happening with Josh."

CJ took a step back and sat down in one of the chairs. Zoey sat with her and held one of her hands, the role of comforter somehow reversed.

"The bullet seems to have punctured his lung causing it to collapse. The surgeon managed to re-inflate it but there was also laceration damage to a major artery. Their plan is to stay in and repair it primarily." Abbey glanced back at CJ who had covered her face with her hands. Toby had made his way over to her and was sitting next to her and Zoey.

"How long do you think it will take?" Sam had moved to stand next to Abbey, halting his pacing around the room.

"It could be nearly 16 hours before he's out of surgery." Sam nodded and started to pace again, deep in thought.

The room fell silent once more and CJ couldn't stand the quiet. She began to tap her foot on the floor and she tried to focus on the TV in the room, she followed the words across the screen but she wasn't really reading them. Her thoughts drifted to Josh and she could taste acid in the back of her throat. She stood up quickly, surprising Zoey and Toby, and darted from the room. Abbey followed CJ into the restroom where she had ran.

"CJ?" Abbey stood outside the closed cubicle and waited for CJ to come out. When she did, Abbey handed her some tissue and led her over to the drinking fountain. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah," CJ took a few tentative sips of water, then leant against the wall. She let her head fall against the cool tiles and she let out a long breath. Both women were quiet for a few seconds and CJ's mind automatically went to what would be happening at The White House at this moment. "I shouldn't be here," she said quickly, her body jerking away from the wall.

"What?"

"I shouldn't be here, there are things that need to be done." She bawled her hands into fists as she started to mentally prepare all the things she would have to do. Abbey stood in front of CJ, stopping her from going anywhere.

"Someone will be taking care of it, you're..." CJ shook her head.

"Everyone's here Abbey, Sam and Toby... there here and I'm... the press will be going crazy!" Her voice was shrill and she tried to step towards the door but Abbey stopped her again.

"CJ, you can't..." CJ gave her a stern look.

"I need to brief the press, I need to keep control of this... I need..." she stopped talking and Abbey realised what the younger woman was doing.

"CJ," Abbey took hold her shoulders. "Claudia Jean, listen to me. I know you're feeling powerless and exposed but you're in the right place for now. You're not going to do any good out there in front of the hounds. You need to stay here." CJ nodded and took a deep breath. She took unsteady steps backwards until she hit the wall and sank down, hugging her knees to her chest. She breathed deeply and tried to organise the thoughts flooding her brain, but no matter what, there was one thing that she couldn't stop thinking about.

"He could die, Abbey." It was the first time she'd voiced and her breath caught in the throat. She let tears fall down her cheeks as hard sobs racked her body. Abbey took a few steps towards her and knelt down. She grasped CJ's head in her hands and forced her to look her in the eye.

"You can't think like that CJ, you have to stay positive." CJ nodded but she couldn't stop more tears from falling.

"I'm trying, Abbey." She managed to choke the words out and took a deep breath. Abbey dried her friends cheeks with the tissue she had given her earlier. "I'm trying." CJ said again, a little more convincingly. Abbey nodded and took hold of her hand, they walked back to the waiting room to see Toby storming around the place, shouting loudly.

"I don't understand why they were walking past him, they just... how could...?" Toby rubbed his hands over the back of his head and clenched his teeth when CJ and Abbey walked in.

"What happened?" Abbey asked,

"The doctor came in again, he said Josh lost a lot of blood at the scene..." Zoey shot a fleeting look at her mother, her eyes filled with tears and Abbey squeezed CJ's hand before making her way over to her daughter.

"People were just running past him, no one... not one person stopped to see what had... they just left him there to die, CJ!" He turned to look at her, his hands stretched out to her.

"Toby," she quickly ran towards him and wrapped her arms around his neck. She gripped him tight, hoping to keep him in one piece as his protective walls began to crumble.

"They must have seen him, they must..." his voice trailed off and he allowed his arms to finally circle CJ's waist. He buried his head in her shoulder and took several deep breaths, allowing his body to calm against hers. He pulled back somewhat to look into CJ's face. "They just left him there," he said quietly.

"But you were there Toby, you found him and you got him the help he needed. You were there," she stepped away from him, knowing instinctively that he wanted his space.

"I was there," he repeated after her. CJ nodded and pulled him down into a chair, she sat across from him and Sam soon joined them. They sat together, quietly ruminating on the night's events and the friend that was not with them.

-x-

**Later that night: GW Hospital**

CJ was stood outside the hospital waiting for a car to take her back to the White House. Considering it was August, the night air was cold and she shivered slightly, wishing she had a jacket. Suddenly, someone slipped something over her shoulders and she turned to see Charlie standing next to her, fitting his jacket around her snugly.

"You looked cold," he said.

"Thank you," she gave him a small smile and they stood silently for a few seconds.

"I thought you would have stayed here," he said, looking out towards the group of reporters behind the barriers.

"I have to brief," she couldn't bring herself to look towards the reporters, she was hurting and vulnerable and she didn't want them seeing her like this. The car soon arrived and Charlie held the door open allowing her to climb inside first.

"I know, you know," Charlie said once they were in the car.

"Know what?"

"About you and Josh," his voice was morose and CJ couldn't hide the surprise written on her face.

"How did you..?"

"It's my job to be invisible CJ, I see everything." He was looking into his hands, he seemed ashamed about bringing this up.

"What did you see?" She asked, panic coursing through her muscles.

"Nothing really... the glances and touches, the smiles..." he paused. "No one else would have seen them CJ."

"Charlie..." she breathed his name and he brought his eyes to look at her.

"I think you're good together," he gave her a smile and CJ felt some of the panic subside. "And when he wakes up, I think you should tell him you love him."

"I..." CJ was stunned into silence at Charlie's words. Had he seen something in her that she hadn't even uncovered herself? "What makes you...?"

"I see it in those little things CJ, the actions might be small but the emotion that comes through definitely isn't." CJ shook her head, smiling genuinely for the first time since they left the Newseum.

"How did you get to be so wise, Chaz?" He chuckled.

"I've learnt a lot working with you guys," he smiled at her again and CJ took hold of his hand.

"We've learnt a lot from you too Charlie and I'm glad Josh hired you to work in The White House." She squeezed his hand and he returned the gesture.

"Me too." They remained holding hands as they travelled the rest of the way in silence and when they arrived, CJ gave Charlie his jacket back and patted his shoulder as she started for her office.

"Thank you, Charlie."

-x-

**Tuesday morning: 1.05am**

CJ arrived back at the hospital alone and the guards stationed outside the main entrance greeted her when they opened the doors. She made her way through the corridors and found herself outside the President's room. Abbey saw her through the half-shut blinds and came out to see her.

"How is the President?" CJ asked.

"He's a little fuzzy but you can see him if you like," Abbey motioned for CJ to move inside but she hovered at the door.

"Are you sure..?"

"He'll be up for a little conversation and he'll want to see for himself that you're ok," Abbey opened the door and went inside, she held the door open for CJ and she followed the First Lady in.

"Jed, CJ's here." Abbey helped him sit up in his bed and the President looked over to the door. His face broke into a smile at the sight of his Press Secretary.

"What's doin' C-Jean?" He held his hand out to her and CJ smiled, making her way over to him. She took hold of his hand and leant in to kiss his cheek.

"How are you feeling, Sir?" Jed patted the side of his bed for her to sit down and CJ glanced at Abbey for the ok before taking his offer.

"I feel like I'm floating," he gave her a sleepy smile.

"The pain meds," Abbey said, dabbing a damp cloth over his forehead.

"Whatever it is, it feels good." He chuckled.

"I'm sure it does, Sir." CJ gulped backed relieved tears to hear the President making jokes. He seemed like himself, and had it not been for the heart monitor and IV bag hanging next to him, she could almost believe this wasn't happening.

"Everyone working hard?" He asked.

"Yes, Sir." CJ glanced over at Abbey and one look from her told her that she hadn't told him about Josh. CJ remained silent, knowing Abbey was right to keep it from him now but she also knew Jed would be furious once he found out.

"You scratched your neck," he said, lifting his finger to point it out. CJ's hand instinctively reached up to it.

"My necklace came off when someone pushed me to the ground..." she trailed off as she realised why Arthur's question had bothered her so much during the briefing.

"Someone pushed you down?" Abbey asked, coming over to CJ.

"When the shooting started, someone... I can't remember..." she shook her head and looked back to the President. "I'm sorry, Sir... I should get going." She stood up quickly and left the room. She walked out of the hospital and into the street, she wrapped her arms around her body trying to keep herself warm and kept walking. It wasn't until she could see the bright lights illuminating the White House that she realised how far she'd walked. As she slowly stepped towards the building, Toby was coming out towards her.

"Where have you been?" He asked, anger giving his words a deadly tone.

"I was at the hospital." Toby waved his hands at her.

"Abbey called, said you were leaving but you seemed a little out of it. I was waiting for you..." he grabbed her shoulders. "You've been gone for half an hour, I almost sent out a search party. What were you doing?"

"I was walking, I walked back." Toby clasped his hand over his mouth and cleared his throat.

"Come inside, you're freezing," he pulled her into his arms, hoping to share some of his body heat with her.

"I don't remember what happened," CJ said quietly.

"What?"

"I don't remember... we came out of the Newseum and I talked to you then... nothing." She stopped walking and turned to Toby. "I don't remember what happened."

"I wish I could forget," he said, stroking a hand through her hair.

"Someone pulled me down," she said clearly and Toby realised what she was getting at.

"Someone saved your life?" He asked incredulously.

"I don't remember but I saw the car, the police car and the window was broken. I think... I remember the glass shattering over our heads as we fell..." She started to get worked up as she was trying to recall what had happened to her.

"CJ," Toby turned her head so she was looking straight into his eyes. "CJ, don't think about this now."

"But I..."

"It will come, CJ. You're body is still in shock and this is its way of healing itself. Don't force yourself to relive it just yet." CJ nodded and allowed him to take her to the warmth of the White House.

Once inside, CJ stepped away from Toby and made her way towards her office, knowing he was watching her. She glanced back to give him a encouraging nod, telling him she was going to be ok. She stepped into her office and made her way over to her desk. She collapsed into her chair and turned all the TVs on. She partially listened to them, hearing snippets from each reporter as she tuned in and out of what was going on. Carol stood in the doorway watching her boss, silently thanking God that she was ok. The look on CJ's face was breaking Carol's heart and she could only hope and pray that Josh would pull through his surgery.

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**Hope you enjoyed it! x**

**Please leave a review or pm me, all comments are greatly appreciated! xxx**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey everyone! So here's chapter 2, I had a lot of fun writing it and I hope you enjoy it :D**

**Something I never thought about was that I should maybe give proper credit to where I got my story titles from. Both of my CJ/Josh stories are named after songs I listened to, to get in the right mood for writing certain plotlines. So, **_**Fools in Love **_**is by Inara George and **_**Live and Learn **_**is by The Cardigans. Both songs were found on the Grey's Anatomy soundtrack (Dimplesgirl shares my love for the music in GA) and some of the chapter titles are also taken from it, but there are way too many to go back and list. So there it is, lol.**

**Anyway, let me know what you think...**

**Calliope Jae x**

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**Chapter 2: Times of Past**

**New Hampshire, 1997  
****Bartlet for America Campaign  
****Hilton Garden Hotel**

Josh stumbled along the corridor looking for the only room number he could remember. His head was fuzzy from the alcohol he'd consumed throughout the night. Perhaps meeting up with old friends hadn't been such a good idea after all. He stopped outside a door and took a deep breath; this was going to be unpleasant. He knocked tentatively and waited a few seconds, when there was no response he knocked again a little louder. He leant his head against the door and closed his eyes; open the door! Just as he was thinking the occupant might be still asleep, the door flew open and he stumbled forward. Someone's arms shot out against his chest and pushed him back into an upright position.

"Hey TJ," he tried to get his eyes to focus on the woman standing in front of him.

"It's CJ." Josh cursed inside, good start. This woman already hated him, so what was the point in trying?

"Whatever," he shrugged his shoulders and CJ scowled at him.

"What do you want?" She asked in a clipped tone.

"I couldn't find my key," he said rather lamely. She stared at him for a few seconds and Josh started to feel uncomfortable under her gaze. "What?"

"Why are you here?"

"I couldn't remember where anyone else's room was," it was the truth but as soon as the words left his mouth he realised how harsh it had sounded. He watched a hundred different emotions cross her face but he couldn't figure out what any of them were.

"Right," she answered before Josh could take any of his last comment back. She let out a dry laugh and shook her head. "Sam's room is down the hall, room 118," she shut the door without another word and left Josh to stare blankly at the door. He peered down the hall towards Sam's room and jogged to where it was, he knocked quietly and the door opened quicker than he expected.

"Yeah?" A woman with short blonde hair was standing in front of him, a kind smile on her face.

"Yeah, I er... I'm sorry," Josh paused and rubbed a hand over his head. "Do I know you?" He asked.

"I'm Lisa, Sam's fiancé," she looked at his clueless face and shook her head. "We met this morning."

"Yeah, of course!" Josh gave her a smile but she frowned slightly at him.

"You want me to get Sam?" She asked, pointing to the bathroom where he could hear the shower running, he shook his head.

"Nah, it's ok. Don't worry 'bout it," he waved a hand and walked back down the corridor. He groaned inside at how awkward that had been and then laughed a little; this really wasn't his night!

He made his way down the hall and entered the elevator to go to the ground floor. He made his way outside, the fresh air making his head spin even more and walked in the direction of Mandy's room. He knew she was somewhere across the courtyard but he just couldn't remember where. In his drunken state, Josh walked too close to the fountain and tripped on the rockery surrounding the bottom. His arms shot out to catch himself but instead they caused him to go off balance and he fell backwards into the freezing cold water.

His breath seemed to leave his body and he sat up, gasping for air. He clumsily crawled to the edge and tumbled out, he stood up and held his arms out, letting the water glide off him. He clenched his fists and threw his head back, he opened his mouth in a silent scream and stamped his feet. Taking a few deep breaths he walked back the way he had come. He re-entered the elevator and walked back along the corridor, his shoes squelching and his clothes clinging to him uncomfortably. He stopped at CJ's door and knocked loud so she would hear it the first time. He didn't have to wait long before the door flew open again to show a very pissed off CJ.

"What?" Her voice was sharp and Josh recoiled slightly.

"You have a way of making people feel loved, do you know that?" He hoped some light humour would soften her up but from the way she crossed her arms over her chest he knew she wasn't buying it.

"What could...you..." her voice trailed off and her eyes trailed over his body. The corner of her mouth turned up in a slight smile as she took in his sopping clothes and rumbled hair. "Why are you wet?"

"I tripped," he held his arms out to the side and looked down at himself, he let his arms slap back down and he sighed.

"Into..?" She asked, trying to keep a straight face.

"A fountain, if you must know." He shuffled his feet on the spot, wondering if she was going to turn him away again but she surprised him with a full blown smile. Josh watched her face light up and for the second time that night, he couldn't breathe. Finally she waved him inside and shut the door behind him.

"I'm glad to see you've sobered a little," she disappeared into the bathroom and came back with a towel for him. Josh caught it when she threw it to him and he dried his face.

"A late night swim can do that to you." CJ laughed, a full, rich laugh and Josh found himself smiling too. She was leaning against the edge of her bed, now laughing so hard she had doubled over slightly. Josh watched her and he too began to chuckle as her infectious laugh took over his body.

"I'm sorry," she said, wiping tears from her face. Josh shook his head and shrugged his shoulder, still laughing.

"Don't pretend like you're not enjoying this." CJ laughed again.

"It's not like I'm keeping it a secret," she grinned at him and he returned it. Josh felt like some how they'd passed a milestone in their stony friendship, if you could even call it a friendship. CJ walked to her suitcase, she pulled out a pair of baggy pants and passed them over to him. "You should get out of those clothes, you'll get sick if you..."

"I never get sick," Josh said, standing up. "But you're right, I should change." He held up the pants and nodded, silently thanking her and made his way to the bathroom.

As he changed Josh thought about the woman on the other side of the door. She'd only been on the campaign for a few days and it was no secret around the office that they didn't really get along. Thinking back to the day she'd turned up with Toby, Josh couldn't actually remember what it was that set them off on the wrong foot. They'd been civil towards each other while working but they hadn't been able to spend time alone without arguing about something or other. He sighed as he hung his wet clothes on the radiators to dry. Truth be told, he actually liked her, he just couldn't get past this... he wasn't even sure what it was. He ran a towel over his hair and tried to comb his fingers through it to neaten it a little. Well, it's as good as it's gonna get, he thought as he looked at himself in the mirror. He chuckled and made his way back out into the main room.

"Hey," CJ said when she heard the door open. She had her reading glasses on and was sitting in bed crossed legged, the covers pushed away from her. She was reading through a file and taking notes. She looked up at him and pointed her pen to the sofa. "I set a pillow and some extra covers out for you." Josh glanced over at the sofa to see she'd made a bed for him, he smiled.

"Thanks," he sat down on the sofa and got under the covers, trying to warm himself. "Isn't it a little late to be working?" He asked, watching her work.

"I couldn't sleep," she mumbled.

"Why?"

"Cause some crazy guy woke me up," she looked over the top of her glasses at him and smirked.

"That must have been annoying."

"Not so much, you've definitely supplied tonight's entertainment." She chuckled again and Josh wondered how long it would be before the whole campaign staff found out about his late night adventure.

"Are you enjoying the campaign?" He asked. This was the longest conversation they'd had without it turning into an argument and Josh wanted it to continue that way.

"I guess so," she shrugged her shoulders and Josh sat up straight, that wasn't what he had expected her to say.

"Isn't that just another way of saying no?"

"No it's not. I've been here less than a week, I'm still finding my footing," she glanced up at him with a look. Josh was fast becoming an expert in knowing that look meant he should drop whatever the topic was and start a new one. Although, that didn't necessarily mean he did as she asked.

"You're not enjoying it here?" He asked, sitting forwards on the sofa.

"I didn't say that!" She was getting angry. Josh took a chance and slowly stood up, making his way over to her.

"I can't have made it any easier," he sat on the edge bed, giving her space but not allowing her to escape.

"No, you were very welcoming, made me feel right at home." Sarcasm laced every word and Josh felt a wave of guilt wash over him.

"You knocked me off my game," he said quietly. CJ just looked at him for a few seconds, while he was deep in thought. He suddenly realised why he'd been so hostile towards her when she'd arrived.

"What?" She asked, a little impatiently.

"You backed me into a corner..." CJ stiffened and started to argue back.

"I did..." Josh held up a hand to silence her.

"You did, not... not consciously but..." he sighed. "I wasn't at my best... I changed teams and... well you swooped in here, all confident and geared up and you took the place by storm. You won the Governor over and Leo in less than an hour and I'm still..." He glanced over at CJ and he felt uncomfortable at the way she was looking at him. He rubbed a hand over his damp hair and looked away from her. "I guess... you knocked me off my game." He sounded painfully defeated and he hated it. He stood up and started to walk back to the sofa. From the corner of his eye he saw CJ stand up too.

"That's bullshit," she said, a frown on her face and hands on her hips. Josh turned around to look her.

"What?" He'd shared something with her tonight and this is what she was saying to him?

"That's bullshit and you know it." She walked over to him and stood in front of him. "If someone knocks you off your game, you get right back on it. You don't put the blame on them and slink off in the background, hoping no one will notice. You fight back! You keep fighting until you're best that can be. If you don't know that, then I guess you're not really the guy I thought you were." She took a deep breath and waited for the words to sink in. Josh looked into her eyes and he felt a sudden urge to hug her.

"Thanks," he said softly. CJ nodded and pointed to the sofa.

"You should get some sleep." Josh watched her make her way back towards the bed.

"Yeah," he sat down and pressed his fingers together. "Hey, CJ?"

"What?" She moved the files from her bed and settled under the covers.

"Tomorrow morning the Bartlet's are going to church..." He paused, not sure if he should continue.

"Yeah?" She propped herself up on her elbow and look over at him.

"Can I buy you breakfast?" For some reason he was nervous and CJ smiled.

"Sure," she turned off the bedside lamp and Josh heard her settle under the covers. He stayed sitting up, still thinking about what she'd said to him. It had been exactly what he'd needed to hear. He smiled to himself and brought the cover up over his body.

"Hey, CJ?" He heard her sigh a little.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for letting me stay."

"Josh, I swear to God, if you don't pipe down I'm going to throw you out." He smiled to himself when he heard her laugh a little and there was a brief pause before she spoke again. "Goodnight, Joshua."

"Goodnight, Ceej."

-x-

**Present day  
****GW Hospital**

CJ was sitting in the private waiting room the Secret Service had set up. There were a few staffer dotted around but she was sitting alone, her friends still dealing with things from the West Wing. She was chewing on her bottom lip, deep in thought and didn't hear anyone enter the room.

"Hey CJ."

"Hmm?" She felt the person sit down next to her but she was still too lost in her mind to really notice who it was.

"I said hi." CJ finally looked up and her worried face eyes softened.

"I'm sorry Danny, I just..." He shook his head.

"Don't worry 'bout it," he smiled sadly at her and she returned it.

"Hi," she said, rather lamely.

"What were you thinking about?" Danny asked after a few seconds.

"The campaign... and Josh."

"Is it true you guys hated each other at the beginning?" CJ glanced over at him, surprise evident on her face. "Oh yeah, we all knew." They chuckled a little and Danny wanted to take her hand in his. "What changed it?" He asked instead.

"A fountain," CJ smiled and laughed to herself, Danny frowned but smiled along with her.

"A what?"

"Never mind," she looked up at him. "Did you get everything you need from Leo?" Danny was silent for a few seconds, he wanted her to talk to him but he knew she's closed off now. It was all business again.

"Yeah, we had a quick talk. I got to see The President too, he's doing well."

"You heard anything about Josh?" She asked, hopefully.

"The President said he woke up a little while ago but that's all I know."

"Me too," she sighed and fingered the crease in her pants.

"Hey listen, I'm sorry I... you know..." he sighed and looked into her eyes. "I'm sorry I never asked if you were ok before."

"You have nothing to apologise for," she gave him a weak smile and shrugged her shoulders. "The job has to come first."

"Sometimes it shouldn't." This time he did take her hand in his but CJ pulled away gently.

"But it has too," she looked away and Danny brought his hand to rest in his lap.

"Yeah." They were silent for few moments and Danny wished she would let him comfort her; he glanced over at her worried face. "Are you sure you're..." As he started to talk, Leo walked into the waiting room and CJ jumped up from her chair.

"Is everything ok?" She asked before Leo could speak.

"He's awake again," Leo gave CJ a smile. "He wants to see you."

"Yeah, er..." she glanced back at Danny but he shook his head.

"Go." Was all had to say and CJ raced from the room with Leo, leaving Danny sitting alone in the waiting room.

"How is he?" CJ asked, as Leo showed her to his room.

"He's doing good, the anaesthetic seems to have worn off so he's more aware of what's going on." CJ suddenly felt a nervous bubble rise in her chest. She wasn't sure what she was going to see when she walked through the door and that terrified her. Leo stopped at Josh's room and laid a hand on the handle. "CJ..." He paused, as if thinking about the next thing he was going to say.

"Yeah?" She wrapped her arms over his chest.

"Is there... is there anything I should know? I mean is there anything..?" He stopped and shook his head. "You know what? It doesn't matter," he placed a hand on her lower back and guided through the door. She glanced at him with wary eyes, was he about to ask her about her relationship with Josh? Leo shook his head again and gave her a reassuring smile, telling her with his eyes not to worry about it. Leo walked towards the bed where Jed was standing and CJ saw Josh for the first time. Her breath caught in her throat and her heart felt like it had stopped beating. He was hooked up to so many machines and the air was filled with their soft whirling noises and relentless beeps. Leo stepped forward and gripped Josh's hand. He opened his eyes slightly and licked his lips.

"She here?" Josh asked, quietly.

"She's here," Leo said with a smile. He glanced back at CJ who had still not moved from the doorway and held his hand out to her. Jed made his way over to her and placed his hand on her shoulder, he brought her towards the bed and she took Leo's hand for support.

"Hi," she whispered, shakily.

"CJ?" His voice was raspy and she felt her chest tighten. Jed and Leo moved away to sit in the waiting chairs and CJ took the last few tentative steps towards him. She laid her hands on his arm, letting his warm skin heat her palms. She could feel the walls of her soul crumbling as she realised just how close she'd come to losing him. She gripped his arm and bowed her head. She let the tears fall and Josh felt them drop softly onto his arm. "Don't," he whispered but CJ couldn't stop the flood of tears racing down her cheeks. Her knees felt weak and she crouched down next to his bed, she rested her head against his arm. Josh took hold of her hand and squeezed it tightly, letting her know he was ok.

"Oh my God, Josh!" CJ lifted her head to look at him. She crawled up to him and sat on the side of the bed, making sure not to hurt him. "We almost lost you..." her voice trailed off as more tears fell.

"Gonna have to try harder than that to get rid of me," he smiled at her and CJ chuckled softly. She brushed her finger tips over his forehead, moving a few strands of hair and trailed them down across his cheek.

"Never," she whispered. She gave him another smile and sniffled a little.

"The President said you hit your head," he reached up a hand but CJ batted it away and smiled over at the President.

"It's nothing," she took hold of his hand in both of hers and stroked his knuckles with her thumb. "I'm fine."

"You know I don't like that word," he gave her a weak smile.

"Yeah, well... deal with it." CJ laughed at the look he gave her and squeezed his hand. Josh looked into her eyes and his heart ached at the pain he saw there. He knew she was trying to be brave for him and he was thankful for that but what he really wanted was to take her in his arms. He wanted to hold her, to make sure that she would always be safe, to make sure no one would ever be able to hurt her again. Most of all he wanted the love building in his chest to take away that pained and saddened look in her eyes. He brought her hand up to his lips slowly and kissed her fingers.

There was a gentle knock at the door and Leo stepped over to open it. CJ turned around to see Donna hesitate at the door before stepping into the room, Abbey at her side. CJ stood up and nodded for Donna to take her place but as she turned to move away, Josh's hand shot out and caught hers.

"Where are you going?" He asked, alarm in his voice. He tugged on her hand, silently asking her to sit back down and she smiled.

"I'm not going anywhere," she tried to pull her hand away from his but the look in his eyes made CJ stop resisting him. She nodded and sank back down onto the bed. Leo and Jed were watching the scene play out in front of them carefully and they smiled to each other. Leo chuckled and stood up.

"Here, take this seat Donna," he pulled the chair over to the bed.

"No, it's ok, I can stand." Leo shook his head and held up a hand.

"I need to make some calls outside, don't worry about it." Donna smiled appreciatively and sat down. Leo reached over and patted Josh's arm gently. "Get some rest, I'll see you soon."

"Thanks, Leo." Leo smiled at Donna and CJ, then nodded to Jed and Abbey as he walked out. Donna talked to Josh about everything and anything that popped into her head and it made CJ smile. They laughed about the inappropriate messages his 'insane groupies' had sent him and she promised to bring some of the letters when she visited tomorrow. After a short while, Josh's eyelids started to droop and although he said he wasn't tired, CJ knew better.

"You need your sleep," she said, resting her hand on his leg.

"I'm fine," he yawned but tried to cover it with a sigh. CJ laughed and brought one of his hands to her lips, she kissed his knuckles.

"Sleep," she fixed him with a glare and Josh nodded. He used the hand she'd brought to her lips to cup her chin, he tried to bring her towards him and CJ felt her body move slightly before she remembered who else was in the room. She jerked backwards and shot a quick glance over at the First Couple. Abbey was reading in a chair while Jed dozed in the next bed, no matter what Abbey had said to him, he had insisted on staying until he knew Josh was sound asleep. She glanced back at Donna and the younger woman smiled.

"I'll wait outside," she whispered before leaving. CJ turned back to Josh and found his eyes locked on hers.

"Are you really ok?" He asked.

"Yes."

"I want to know what happened to you," he reached out a hand and traced the small red scratch on her neck. She pulled his hand away from her and placed them on his chest.

"Nothing happened to me, Josh. I'm really ok."

"Abbey mentioned..." CJ placed her fingers on his lips and he stopped talking.

"Another time," she traced her thumb over his lower lip. "We'll talk when you're feeling better."

"I can..." CJ shook her head and Josh nodded, he knew she wasn't going to tell him anything tonight and trying would only make him frustrated. CJ slid from the bed and turned towards him.

"Get some rest. I'll be back soon," she brushed a hand through his hair and Josh looked up at her.

"Will you be here when I wake up?" He asked, his voice small and a pleading look in his eyes that made CJ melt.

"I'll try..." she sighed, thinking before nodding. "I'll be here."

"No, I'm sorry... I know that..." he shook his head and smiled at her. "It's ok if you're not, you must have a million..." CJ suddenly leaned forward and captured his lips with her own. She kissed him gently but it held so much emotion that Josh thought he could feel it burning into his lips. She pulled back slightly so they were touching noses.

"I'll be here," she whispered. Josh smiled and reached up to kiss her again. This time he kissed her harder and he wove his hand with hers, squeezing tightly. "Go to sleep," she said, finally pulling back.

"Wish you could sleep next to me," he mumbled, his eyes already shutting.

"Soon," she promised with a smile. As his eyes slid firmly shut CJ took a deep breath and sat down in the guest chair Leo had given Donna. She rested her head in her hands and she felt more tears rolling down her face. She jumped slightly when she felt a hand rest on her shoulder.

"You need some rest yourself," Abbey said, from behind her. CJ nodded and turned to look at her. "He's going to be fine, CJ. He's out of the woods."

"I know, I just... I don't know what's wrong with me," she wiped away her tears and Abbey gave her a small smile.

"Its relief," Abbey said and CJ looked up at her, a confused frown on her face. "What you're feeling, those tears... its relief." CJ let her words sink in and she glanced back at Josh. She felt Abbey move away and she heard her soft voice wake her husband up. A few moments later Jed slowly made his way over to Josh and gazed down at him with sad eyes.

"Look at what they did to our son, Abbey." He said softly. He placed his hand on CJ's back and pulled her into him slightly, giving her a small hug that CJ knew was more for his peace of mind than hers. He gave Josh's hand a quick squeeze and he followed Abbey towards the door. As he stepped out Abbey turned back to CJ.

"Claudia?" She held out a hand and CJ finally stood up. She placed one last kiss on Josh's lips and swept a loving hand over his chest. She stopped briefly over his heart, she could feel the steady beat under her palm and she closed her eyes, sending a small prayer of thanks to the people who made that possible. "CJ?" Abbey's voice floated to her again.

"I love you, Joshua." She whispered to him before turning and making her way out the room with Abbey.

CJ closed the door quietly behind her and turned to see that Toby and Sam had their small group. They were talking to Donna and Toby glanced over at CJ. She smiled, letting him know things were ok. Abbey was trying to get the President to return to his room but he wanted to stay and talk to the rest of the staff. Just as Leo joined in the argument they all saw a woman, possibly in her late 60's running towards them, an agent by her side.

"Is he ok?" She said, once she stopped in front of them. CJ recognised her immediately but it was Donna that stepped forwards first.

"Mrs. Lyman," Donna glanced over at CJ, making sure it was ok for her to talk to her and CJ nodded. "Josh is doing great, he's resting but he's going to be fine." The older woman sighed a breath of relief and she dabbed at her red eyes.

"Thank you, Donna," she clasped Donna's hand in her own. "Do you think I might be able to see him?" Donna glanced back at CJ.

"Of course you can, Mrs. Lyman. Go right in." CJ said. Mrs. Lyman stepped towards CJ and took a good look at her.

"You must be CJ Cregg."

"Yes," CJ nodded. She felt uneasy under this woman's gaze and she sneaked a nervous glance at Toby.

"You're Joshua's girlfriend, yes?" Mrs. Lyman asked, her eyes never leaving CJ's. CJ was stunned into silence and she felt every person's eyes turn to her. CJ looked over Mrs. Lyman's shoulder to see the President and Leo were looking at her with surprised eyes and she took a deep breath before turning her attention back to Josh's mother.

"Yes, I'm Josh's girlfriend."

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed!**

**Please leave a review or pm me, all comments are greatly appreciated! xxx**


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